Expectations
Yes, this may be credited as the required Pre-Cana Seminar all soon-to-wed couples must attend before getting married in a church. There, you got the bottom line.
However, I think most couples who signed up for the Weekend knew that they were getting more than the required certificate. Why else would they invest P6000, and a whole weekend, if they can just get the seminar in the city hall, church, or other providers who offer it for less time and money.
Think of it this way, if you think P6000 is expensive for a marriage preparation course, ask yourself how much you are paying for your caterer, your venue, your gown. Maybe your souvenirs are even more expensive! All these things are for the wedding, for one day. The Discovery Weekend is for your marriage, your life.
I knew coming in that this workshop will require more from me, and so I expected to gain more as well. I expected lots of crying so I brought 1 roll of tissue paper! Hahaha! I also expected that I would be confronted with my issues in life, one of which is my lack of commitment to the Lord.
Our Experience
Momon’s expectations were unlike mine, he was a bit skeptical about the whole thing. But since his love for me far outweighs his lack of enthusiasm for the process, he still participated wholeheartedly. At malinis naman ang track record ko no! I’ve never brought him to an experience na hindi kami nag-enjoy. So, even if he was slightly uncomfortable with the idea, he trusted me when I said that it is a good decision to attend the DW.
Our Lay Chaplains for the weekend are Jojo and Ditsy Sumpaico. They have been married for 40 years, and have been with the DW since it’s inception.
They taught us the value of feelings, listening and partnership, true definition of love, techniques for communication, fellowship with God and so many more. All their talks draw from their long experience as husband and wife, parents, and as trainers in DW for more than 30 years.
Our Admin Couple was Joel and Sabet Aguada. They are so hilarious! The weekend was definitely made more special because of their flawless management of logistics. Joel’s talent in music and comedy is also very admirable.
Each session had guest Team Couples who came to share their love/life stories. All of the stories were very applicable to the topics. I actually wonder how DW gets these couples and draw out their stories. Hmm... this is the trainer in me talking.
Most of the sharings were well written, and well told--all were true testaments that marriage is not a bed of roses, and preparing for it is more important than preparing for the wedding. There were times when Momon and I would ask each other, “My goodness, they really went through all that?” The answer is yes, they did! But the more remarkable thing is that after all those trials they are still together and so much in love.
Our Favorites
The activities are highly personal. This is not like a traumatic high school retreat where you have to cry in front of all of your classmates. Couples are made to focus on each other, and only on each other. There is limited interaction with other couples, and no airing of dirty laundry to other people you do not know. Your thoughts and secrets are only for you and your partner.
Here are our favorite activities:
- Marriage Expectation Inventory – Super helpful questionnaire on your marriage plans and ideas. Although much of what was here, we already talked about, it’s nice to see it in writing and discussed in a more formal way.
- Focus on Feelings – Momon loves the “I feel _____” and “You are _______” technique. Lahat ng lang yata ng bagay ina-apply na nya yun ngayon.
- Wedding at Cana/Cana Meditation – This is a personal favorite. Being that I was never a Catholic school student—JASMS was non-sectarian and focused on sports and the arts; then QueSci was all for the brains and academic achievement; and UP was for individuality, tolerance and choice—I never really knew how to read and interpret a bible verse.
- Couples Dialogue – Great examples on how to resolve issues. We will definitely use this.
Our First Step Towards God
Momon and I both agree that our relationship lacks a commitment to God. We very seldom go to mass or talk about religion. What we do is pray. Maybe that’s something, but we know there are more opportunities we are missing with our relationship with the Lord.
The activities at the tail end of the workshop brought us into a quiet resolve that we will work on our relationship with the Lord. We both agreed that, just like planning for a trip or the wedding, working on our friendships and excelling in work, we need to invest in our spiritual life—as individuals and as a couple.
The Discovery Weekend was a great first step. Now I know that when Momon and I face the Lord on October 2, He will be with us, enclosing us in His eternal embrace of love and support for our union.
You and I
At the end of the retreat, I noticed that couples are sitting closer to each other, leaning on each other’s arm, holding hands. They would move their chairs so they can feel closer. When the program ended, you can see genuine love and happiness in everyone’s faces. Everyone was greeting each other good luck for the upcoming weddings and marriages.
If it’s any indication for the success of the program, then I can say it was definitely a success.
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Stray Observations:
Momon and I both agree that our relationship lacks a commitment to God. We very seldom go to mass or talk about religion. What we do is pray. Maybe that’s something, but we know there are more opportunities we are missing with our relationship with the Lord.
The activities at the tail end of the workshop brought us into a quiet resolve that we will work on our relationship with the Lord. We both agreed that, just like planning for a trip or the wedding, working on our friendships and excelling in work, we need to invest in our spiritual life—as individuals and as a couple.
The Discovery Weekend was a great first step. Now I know that when Momon and I face the Lord on October 2, He will be with us, enclosing us in His eternal embrace of love and support for our union.
You and I
At the end of the retreat, I noticed that couples are sitting closer to each other, leaning on each other’s arm, holding hands. They would move their chairs so they can feel closer. When the program ended, you can see genuine love and happiness in everyone’s faces. Everyone was greeting each other good luck for the upcoming weddings and marriages.
If it’s any indication for the success of the program, then I can say it was definitely a success.
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Stray Observations:
- The exercises in DW are great practices for writing your vows.
- They say DW has the reputation for breaking up couples—I can definitely say it’s wrong. All the sessions point to loving your partner more through understanding and compassion. Should the couple decide to split after DW, it is only for the best, and they are parting as friends. Don’t be afraid.
- It is physically and emotionally exhausting, but it is all worth it.
- Being that I’m a very social person, I initially found it weird that one of the house rules was to limit interaction with other couples. But after thinking about it, I realized that this workshop is not for teambuilding, networking, nor leadership—as I am used to conducting in our workshops. This was really a time to focus on each other.
- Sobrang daming food! Grabe!
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For more information, please visit: http://www.discoveryweekend.org/
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